A comeback, a romance and a basketful of eggs.

Hmmm......apologies, apologies. My sincerest apologies.
I promised Juiceegal and BSNC that I was back to stay.

I don’t know what happened..I just got all tied up.
Work, work, work, twitter, work, writing, facebook, poetry meets, romance and all of a sudden, yahoo chat became very, very interesting.
There was one form of training or the other almost every other week at work. Then we had a promotional campaign with the biggest prize money in Africa: 1 million USD, which didn’t generate interest at first because of the normal cynicism of an average Nigerian who argued that it was impossible for someone to win that amount of money. Halfway through the promotion, after tens of thousands had won 48 mobile phones, every day for 90 days, the cynics sat up and began to take notice.
Someone, a 20 year old, 400 level medical student at Unijos won the 1 million USD on Friday the 6th of November, 2009. Someone, whose life is changed forever, I dare to suppose. Even his generations to come may enjoy the windfall of his singular decision to invest in a sim card which I am sure he bought for 200 naira.
If we knew how our day to day decisions affect our lives, the lives of people around us and the lives of future generations to come, I am sure we will be more careful when we make decisions, even the very simple and little ones.


It is November and the year is almost gone. Yesterday morning, I woke up at 4.25am and took almost 30 minutes to take stock of the year.
Most of the bad habits I have dropped, a few of the career decisions I have not met. In that aspect, it was as if the year conspired with time and went too fast in attempt to deny me the realization of my dreams. Well, I am still living and that I am so grateful for and surely by his grace, I will live to fight another day.
Friendships have been made, some have been marred. I have had joys and ups and I have had lows and sad times too, but it is all good though.


It is so funny when you meet someone, and there is some sort of upheaval in your life. Probably, you used to be in control of your emotions, like seriously in control. You had well made fences, emotions locked up: To gain access to your heart, she had to find an ancient scroll, do a bit of harry potteresque magic in order to find a key to unlock one chamber and there were like 12 chambers before you get to the final one housing the heart.
I had this carefree, couldn’t care less attitude towards love and relationships..at least since my last break up. That attitude helped me not to get emotionally involved and attached to anyone. The moment it got so hot and heavy, I would lose interest; how convenient that was for me.. Lol
Then I met someone, in the most random of manners. I didn’t talk to her again until after some 30 days..I think.
When we spoke again, my life was turned upside down and inside out too. I was attracted to her...more than a fair amount, if I am allowed to say so. We started talking regularly, on the phone, yahoo chat, fb etc. The one thing...not really an issue but a bit of a concern was that she lived in another country.
I have never done an LDR before; I never really believed in it. I have always been an expressive person, so I loved the proximity so I could do my PDAs lol. At some point, I didn’t care that she lived in another country. I just felt good each time we talked and I looked forward to the next time we would talk.
This is the third month, I have not seen her physically yet, but I am having the best time of my life. I have never had this good. It is amazing and I am trying hard not gush (I am a grown man for Pete’s sakes!!! Lol) but I am very happy and content. We are getting to know each other, one step at a time. I am having those feelings you get when you know you are in love, feelings that most men try to cover up because they feel it will make them feel less than men if they show the fact that men have butterflies in their tummies too. A mail from her and there is this mad movement in my tummy.
I am giving it my best shot.
Because i want it to have the best chance at being successful.

On the other hand,
There is a trend that I am beginning to see in Lagos:
The art of not putting your eggs in one basket.
Normally, it is a rule of life, not to put your eggs in one basket, I mean it ensures that you have a plan b, to fall back on in case anything goes wrong, right?
I don’t know how nice it is to have a backup plan in relationships. A lot of people I know are doing that. The ladies say that it ensures that the guy is kept on his toes and in check if he knows that there is competition lurking around in the background. They also reasoned that it paid to have one because you could fall back on it if it fails with the main dude.
Almost same with the males, except that for the males, 5 out of 10 situations he is hanging out with the main lady and the back up at the same time.
In my opinion, I think having a backup is insincere and shows that the individuals involved believe that their relationship is doomed from the start and will not last, hence the art of not putting your eggs in one basket and it sucks... just my opinion ooo.
What do you think?
Right or wrong?

Much ado about MARRIAGE.

It is has been a crazy week. First, another friend of mine got married...lol making it four this year...whatever!
Something more personal happened... I will talk about it in the coming weeks>
I think I am going back to school...a masters degree is in order.
I will do it probably at Unilag...i will hold onto this job joo while I do it.

Is marriage a bit overated?
Is it the next logical thing to do after you graduate and probably get a job?
If you are not married at a certain age, does it mean that you are not successful?
Do you just marry anyone or some random person, because you are single and a greater percentage of your mates are married?
Is it right to discriminate against someone who is not married? Especially, ladies who are not married are largely percieved as "incomplete" despite the fact that most of them are successful throroughbred professionals in their chosen fields?

This has largely been on my mind since a friend posted something that mirrored my thought pattern on facebook. In my opinion, justice was not done to it in terms of constructive contributions and opinions. Most of the comments bordered on the personal, asking the poster not to worry that marriage and love will come. I am a man..I am not scared of marriage..lol actually I want it more than Mum does..lol but the fact is that seperations and consequently divorce is on the rise in Lagos..at least I know that. People do not stay up to 1 year..sometimes, less than that.. is it that people are marrying for the wrong reasons? What happened to all right reasons and values that kept marriage sacred?
Someone opined that marriage during the times of our parents was better and lasted because parents arranged them...i.e families did "arrangee" marriage for the kids.. I countered that because people especially ladies are more aware now. They know what they want and they go for it....so you can't arrange someone for me when I am not attracted to the person or the person is not my type.
Anyways.. let me know what you think.



The angry mango!
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Wednesday, 23 September 2009 at 14:36
‘If you help me see Ego, make you tell am I don go oh’

It is 6am in the morning and the sound of my ‘Djinee-Ego’ ring tone is blasting in my ear. I look up and it says ‘mummy’ on the caller ID…I click reject and go back to sleep! I’ll call her later…maybe …maybe not. I love my mum. LOVE her. She’s the strongest woman I know. Hard-working, entrepreneurial, all that…but lately…this fine woman has been obsessed with asking me about the “latest” in my love life. I mean…where did this come from?! I can understand that she wants to know what’s up but I fear oh! This was the same woman that didn’t want to use her 2 eyes to see any fine young man greet me talk less about take me out on dates (date gini?). Suddenly, me, her post-graduate 20-something year old daughter is ripe and apparently ready to be plucked. The time has come for me to present ‘the one’ for all to see and behold. Ta-Da. Magic!
As in…do I smell?! Am I dimpling on my sides? Abi is my skin oozing fruity, sweet tasting liquid? When did I become ripe and in the name of all things good…how can I slow down this ripening process?! I feel like a mango abi na pawpaw?!?!!?!? Which one?

I sat, pondering all these things on my bus ride back from work…and the crux of my irritation at the incessant probing came to me...What’s the big deal?!!! is getting married an accomplishment?!

Compare two 28 year old women…one a young lawyer, working, self-sufficient, happy; the other a newly married young professional mum with a one-year old son, happy; who has accomplished more?

I had to look up the dictionary definition of what an accomplishment or achievement really is.

Achievement (n): Recognition granted to a learner when all required learning outcomes have been successfully demonstrated

Accomplish (n): To finish successfully; To complete, as time or distance; To bring to an issue of full success; to effect; to perform; to execute fully

A musician is highly skilled. A painter, sculptor, a researcher, an accountant…any sort of professional…are all highly skilled. They have learned and been trained to do what they do…devoted time and sweat and energy to their craft and such, they have achieved something. They have earned that special designation: MD, MSc, or whatever. A war veteran has achieved something…they’ve put their life in danger for the good and in service of others…they deserve that honor…that badge or medal, heck that pension. That being said, this note is for whom-ever deems it applicable to their life (especially us beautiful, single ladies). It’s going to be short and sweet and I’ll only say it once (feel free to read it over and over and over…). Getting married (in and of itself) is NOT an achievement or accomplishment. It is not a degree. It is not a certificate, neither is it an accreditation nor an award. You did not “earn” it by merit or by the skill-full pursuit of studying marriage or married people. Therefore do not treat it as such. Single ladies, do not act as if your life will only start after that guy has put a ring on your finger…it will NOT. You are an entire being with an ENTIRE life; please do something with it other than wait for a man to "complete" you. To my darling ladies, who are engaged or married… You are not suddenly the expert on relationships because you managed to ‘bag’ one so do not give unsolicited tips on how to “marry” or “keep a man” or “make it work” unless you are explicitly asked to do so. We (your single friends) are eternally happy that you have found your own version of wedded bliss and we wish you nothing but the best. Be happy and celebrate yourself and your boo…but abeg, biko…do not throw it in our faces like suddenly your shit don’t stink cause this dude can stand the smell of it. I am writing this not so much for my obnoxious married compadres (I have none oh…all ma married gf’s are awesome…I love una well well. Lol.) but more as a means to address the growing discomfort us single ladies face in an afro-centric world view and culture. I think at this point in the evolution of the world, we can and should be able to think for ourselves and make our own decisions. Therefore, it is absolutely ridiculous that society still dictates and expects that by a certain age, a young girl (regardless of her own merits) is expected suddenly to base all her worth on her ability to get a man to put a ring on her finger. I have been told point blank…by people I love and respect…that no matter what a woman accomplishes on her own, without a husband…she is nothing. I cannot reconcile myself with this point of view. Why is marriage such a big freaking deal?! Does it add anything to my worth to be called MRS-somebody? In the old days, marriage was a way to ensure financial security for a woman or between families…but if I can provide for myself, does this still hold? Marriage was a way to ensure that people have children (seeing as getting pregnant out of wedlock was a big NO-NO!)…but in this day and age, do I need a man attached to my hip to have a child (my clock may tick…but there are now scientific ways to slow/freeze said ‘clock’ until I am ready)? So if the answers to these questions are NO, then really…why is it incessantly drummed into our heads that we should endeavour to “settle down” ASAP? Even guys get an ear-full these days! Does anyone gain a special honor or recognition or merit or ANYTHING other than a partner to share their life with through marriage?! And is that worth all the bru-ha-ha ?

I was going to make the argument that finding the “right one” for you is THE major accomplishment because no lie, it is hard out there. As in, of all the gals and guys in the world…you found “THE ONE” and now u’ll be happy forever. Right? Right…? Maybe; However, how many of us actually believe in ‘the one’ and even if you did, do we actually do anything to find that person or do they just happen to stumble upon us by chance (after enough fasting and prayer of course…chance…lol)?! So, I cannot even argue this angle.

Now, that being said…I can understand how the wedding is a big deal…it is a public acknowledgement of your decision to commit to each other as man and wife. Wonderful! Fantastic...Sometimes, its even beautiful. However, by virtue of you signing that marriage license…have you really achieved anything?! I think NOT! Marriage is a journey…just like happiness and life…it is not an end point but rather, a dynamic push and pull between two people. It should be treated and revered as such. Do not expect a cookie from me simply because you tied the knot...it is the way you spend the rest of your life that counts! Even if we were to quantify the accomplishment of marriage…say at the end of 30 years…what will be the key end points? That the couple stayed together for 30years? That they were happy while together for 30years? That they had children? That their children did not turn out to be raging sociopaths or killers? What would be the measure of success in a marriage? I cannot say. It would depend on the goals set by the individuals at the onset. For me, it would be that I am happy and sane and still loving my husband after so many years. That I added as much goodness to his life as he did mine; that I can look back without regret or remorse…with a twinkle of laughter in my eye at the journey we’ve shared. That would be my success (if to say we hammer while we are together….e no go bad oh!). But hey, that’s just me.So single people, stop holding your breath and just live your live...married guys and gals...keep it moving! there's still an entire life to be led! Live it well.

If I die now I go happy say
Say when I dey this world I don fall in love…




Disclaimer: I am NOT anti-marriage!

Here we go again..

I woke up on the wrong(est)[...is there a word like that? never mind! lol..] side of the bed this morning... It was as if i was a zombie. I was so angry for no reason. When ever I am this way, I have so much energy, so usually I direct it to useful endeavors.
So, I cleaned the house, mopped,scrubbed,waxed the floors accompanied by the banging, thumping beats from Jay Z's Blue print 3... Sorted out the dirty clothes... the laundry guy came to pack the shirts, and I washed the jeans and the other trousers...

As at 10 am...I was amazed at the amount of work I did under 4 hours.. as I dressed up for work, I though about the funny discourse I had with my mum when I traveled home....
4.26am...I was still sleeping...and a single tap woke me up...
"mama..why are up early" I asked ...I knew why she was in room ..
"I want to talk to you" she answered soberly
She went down the all too familiar road of trying to find out what was happening in my life, romantically...
Mama had a tough time giving birth to me..five days of labour before I finally dropped on the 16th of december..so I guess I'm special lol.
I told her I was still searching and she proffered a solution, many a young man had dreaded: "do you want me to look for someone for you?"
From where? Village? Lol
Hell no, Ma! I almost screamed.
Biko, e never reach like that.
I will find, when the time is due..

X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x X

Please, let me ask the ladies..why do u stay with someone who obviously doesn't love you? I read tigeress' post that somewhat, mirrored my frustration. I am asking this question because I couldn't sleep last nite. My neighbour upstairs dealt with his wife real bad. This is not the first time. There was a time, shortly before christmas last year, the man descended on the woman and left her with a serious black eye that kept her company through out the yuletide.
I asked her one time why she still stayed on and she said she loved him and that he loves her. He loved her and he beat on her arse every damn day? I really can't reconcile that. Way backin school, boys use to show some form of superiority. By using belts on their girlfriends.. And the girls stayed on..after all, are bad boys not better lovers, they opinioned?
Even though I was in the minority, I still maintained that any man that beats on his girl does so out of inferiority complex.
I can't beat or harass you to get respect..respect and fear are not the same. Respect is given with freedom of heart, not forced.. Fear is not.
By the time I see my neighbor tomorrow, I am sure she is going to be injured in one way or another and she will tell me one more story about love

X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x X


Growing up, I have been the one writing poems to girls that I liked or I was interested in..no one has ever written one for/ to me but 2 days ago, I got this one in d mail. I have read it more than 10 times and I am putting it up here cos it is special to me..

I'm out people!



i find myself willingly wandering into the arms of someone so far away.
whose touch i haven't felt.
whose eyes i haven't seen.
whose lips i dream of kissing but stop myself short of blushing...
imagining his hands around my waist,
holding me too close such that i feel his breath on my neck...my face.
i find myself doing what i said i wouldn't' do.
Yet somehow,
this time
...i don't mind.
i'm enjoying feeling this familiar feeling of excitement and impatience.
wanting everything and anything to happen all at once...
yet not being ready...
not being sure..
of whether i want more...
because the silence that is the vast distance between us descends down on me.
and carries me back to my reality...miles away from his.
until i find myself wondering again...
what he's doing..
if he's eaten..
if he'll call...

untitled

My last post was on July 21st.

It was not my intent to do a "willie willie" on blogsville. It was just that all of sudden, I became so busy. Also I finally went on leave and I traveled to see my folks. I have not seen them for 2 years + a few months...but we speak at least for 30 minutes everyday. My mum was so expectant..asking me what soup I wanted and all that..if I wanted nkwobi, or ugba... , cos I am so close to my mum so I was so excited to see her. I was caught up in the whole travel thing until she asked me if I was coming back with "her".

HER??

who? I feigned massive concentrated ignorance..
Mother pressed on...it was only after she realized that I was not ready to budge, that she let me be.

I shopped at shop rite 2 days before I was due to leave. I wanted to get some things for my family. I spent almost the entire day at the mall, meandering from aisle to aisle looking for stuff. I noticed this lady. Well dressed in small khaki shorts, with never ending legs. Damn! I kept stealing glances at her legs. I was wondering, what type of temptation this was and I also thought about how good it will feel to take her home to my mum...
"Hello mum, there SHE is" I would say to her..
I was snapped out of my day dreaming when some kids who had "colonized" and turned their mum' s shopping cart into a race car, screeched to a halt in front of me and the one who was the driver, opened his mouth and blared his horn.
"You are blocking the road!" he yelled
Ahn ahn, bros which ones nah? I wondered. I pushed off and went to the next aisle to get detergents. While I was there, the lady with the legs showed up again. I tried hard not to stare so I looked away....again.
That moment, a quick movement caught my eye. She was stuffing something into her bra.
No way!! She did it again.
I saw what looked nail varnish and a couple of tubes; inside her bra? . Was she shoplifting? In shop rite? What could you possibly shop lif?
Ewooo! So much for taking home to Momma.. She go just wake up in the middle of the night and rob us silly!
Anyway, I just went about my business "jejely".
When I was checking out, I saw her leaving the shop. So she made it out, I wondered.
It is actually not every one you see that is so normal.
On my way back from work yesterday, my colleague was driving and I was in front, beside him. We were having a good time "scoping" ladies in the cars alongside us in the traffic..smile at them, and they'll smile back and say hi.. I saw this pretty girl on a bike. Cute girl to say the least..dressed in a LBD, with her laptop bag on one shoulder and her tote bag on the another.
I caught her eye and held it for some seconds as her bike zoomed past.
"Oh well..lost her" I muttered to myself.
At some point, the road cleared and we moved off. Just before 1004, I saw some activity ahead...the LBD lady was fighting some conductor..
Ahn ahn?
She used her fist to break the glass window by the conductor's side. She slapped the guy, threw her shoe at him and kept on screaming! Next thing, she threw her phone away, tore her dress from the neck down to the waist like the incredible hulk and left her "goodies" exposed! The bus moved off, she ran back to where her bike was waiting for her, opened her bag, took something and ran off leaving the laptop and hand bags with the bike man!
She caught up with the bus, climbed in and sat on the steering with all her "goodies" in the driver's face; as in his face! People were bewildered and were moping at her. She was just screaming at the top of her voice but I could not hear cos my window was wound up. As we drove off, I wondered aloud, what the driver could have done to her within the time she passed us and the time we caught up with them. Whatever it was, I think the lady went too far to go almost naked on ozumba mbadiwe.
Imagine if she was your girl and one day, she pulls this "Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde" stunt...
We have to really open our eyes..there is too much "skoin skoin" patrolling about!

Anyways, from shop rite that I drove straight to ABC to cargo the things for my folks to Owerri. I had already reserved my Aero ticket online for 5k. 5k...that promo was so scary. One day, they will start picking and dropping passengers mid air.
It is all good tho'.

Anyways, the night before I left, I got a call to ask if I was willing to move a brand new mercedes benz GL550 to Owerri?
For the right price, why not?
So I "shenked" the flight and drove down to owerri. The drive was very good even tho the roads were terrible. I stopped every 100 meters cos the police wanted to do "stop and search". The sweetest stretch of road was from a place called Umunede in delta state to Onitsha. I made owerri at about 3.40pm. My mum was so glad to see me. 2 years was such a long time.
I will give more gist but this is just to let peeps know that I am back.
Shout out to my peeps who were "worried" when I was away:
Tigeress..haha.. The love is bluetooth!
Juiceegal..helloo beautiful! That nose ring is so cute!
M of the cerberus..what's up hommie?
Danny.. Thanks. I am still searching. Lol
Tisha..waited for that call. I am sure it is coming on the turtle express. Lol
BSNC..hmmm, where do I start from? Thank u so much for everything!
Solomon Sydelle..thanks for that comment, I have updated oooooo!
And to every other blogger who I forgot to mention, thanks for holding it down. I came back to blogsville and it was as if the place wan burst! See updates every 30mins. I am challenged and motivated. Thanks fam!

I am back!

Kai!! It has been so long.
I am sorry..it has been a long minute. Situations no gree me. Work has been something else, but I am beginning to enjoy it because opportunities are beginning to open up. Managerial positions were thrown up some weeks and we applied. Last week international opportunities were available and we applied too..lol..by fire or by force..we must get there.

I wish I have the strength to update every other day like leggy does..... That lady will not kill me..Leggy ..you hear me? You no go kill me.!! Ahn ahn ?? I can't even keep up with just reading her blog.. She updates as if somebody dey chase am..lol..abeg leggy come help me update my own jooo! lol

I could not attend Cerberus' Chill and relax.....I was looking forward to the event..I heard a few gidi bloggers were up for it...I was looking forward to 'chucking' myself into one corner and trying to figure out who was who...Sirius, Funms, Doug, Juiceegal etc..lol
Before you knew it, I was scheduled for training. TRAINING???? ON A SUNDAY????

I was so vexed eh...kai! which kain winsh be this one?
All through that training..my face was like a mask..hahahahaha.....at some point, the facilitator, a funny indian with a beard as long as santa's, asked me in that funny accent of theirs "what was wrong with me", I was tempted to answer "nehi, nehi"...lol

As if the the stress at work was not enough, one of my bosses decided to pick on me. The guy no know say na one chance im enter.

I remember when I started work, I followed one funny rule that I got oof one self help book like that, and wore my old clothes to work the first week. Funny enough, it worked...I was totally ignored by the so called 'big boys' at work who didn't see me as a threat and the normal people at work didn't see me as a threat either..after all, I dressed like them..so I was one of them..
Third week, I came in to work in all my 'splendour'..lol sharp, dapper..lol but by then, i don already choose my people for work: both big and small.
But there was this superior of mine that just didn't like me. I noticed this because I am that sensitive. The way he looked at me sometimes, especially when he felt that I was not looking. Eyes filled with spite and hate...and I used to wonder..unto which levels.. I mean he is my superior?
I am not one for assumptions, but I figured if us being men, he will approach me if he had any issues with me. If he didn't approach me then, there was no issue.
Before I knew it, stuff started floating around the office..how he said that I was arrogant and cocky too, and that I had a mighty, big chip on my shoulder. That I dressed too good and all sorts. At first I didn't mind....but at some point, it began to get to me because where he discussed me, I have no access to so it was becoming increasingly difficult to contain the damage being done to my person and my superiors were beginning to have skewed perceptions about me. If they go for managers' meeting, the said superior will tell the director that I was unruly and that I was inciting other staff against the management. There was a situtation at work, one certain day and I merely stood up for myself and protected my right and because of that singular act, I was now termed a rebel. I noticed that the situation was getting out of hand.
A few people in the know advised me to avoid him at all costs because he had sworn that he was going to mess me up..ah!

After work, we were allowed to facebook and generally use the internet....so one day, after work, I was on FB, the said superior saw me and before I knew it, I had a memo for 'watching the internet', while at work and he copied my line manager, the senior manager and director of customer care/commercial and the director of HR....see me see issues.

I replied the memo, copying everyone that he copied and cited the time I logged off. I also quoted excerpts of the hand book where it stated that we were allowed to use the computers, internet for personal use. I let it slip that he allowed members of his team to use the internet, so I wondered why my case was different and why he was judging selectively. That memo damaged his credibility and he hopped off my d*#K! I hate it when people in positions of authority and power throw their weight around, because they have the power..pisses me off.

I read Cerberus' post where he was looking for his mojo...I was laughing but i was glad. I wasn't being spiteful oo..lol..I was just glad that it wasn't happening to me alone. I have lost the zeal for the chase. I used to enjoy the chase. when the lady gave you the initial brush off, then you 'racked' your brains for new and ingenious means of getting her attention. the thrill that the chase brought. the looks that you gave a subject of your attention even from across a crowded room...willing her to catch your eye and hold your gaze...and when she did, the mental battle of who tear away first, was spine tingling. I was so good at the 'gaze holding', because I had the ability of zoning out while my eyes were planted firmly on your eyes.

But in recent times, if I even try to chat the lady up and get the brush off/ rejection, I don't bother going back. Sometimes, the lady calls me up..wondring ...why I gave up so quick.....

I don't know what is happening and why..I think I am just tired..I also think this whole male , female, relationship thing is kinda over rated. i am striking out on my own...lol i am going to enjoy this single life as much as I can.
I am taking a rain check!

As Funms USED to say ( cos I don't know if she still saying it...lol sorry funms for taking a swipe at ya! lol)...This heart is closed until further notice!

A quick one!

Sup..people..long time..abi? I have been terribly busy..lots of things of to do..work has been demanding...and a lot of has happened..I will gist you guys later. I just saw this...I don't know if it is true...if it is a limited edition or if it is the work of a good craftsman...Nice I must say tho'
Catch you later!!

Death and his kinsmen...

It is so sad that the thin between life and death is so blurry that I am finding it hard to differentiate. Someone is here today, tomorrow, the person is gone. This is not even about MJ...he was looking tired towards the last days. It was not like I knew his time was up or something...I just wasn't so shocked when I heard he was gone. This is not about Farah Fawcett...she had cancer...so I knew that her time was short..This is about scores of people who were here at the beginning of the year and now, no longer here...

I was watching criminal minds, Season 4..( that is the only tv show that keeps me glued on..asides prison break, Csi Miami, Las Vegas, lol)..On a whim, around 11.55pm, I paused the movie to check CNN to see if I can catch up with their sports update ( cos i want to see how they will analyze the South African vs Brazil match...cos South Africa almost embarrassed the samba boys), next thing I knew, a news flash came up that MJ was in coma, before you know it, he was dead..I am not going to bore you with details...everyone knows what's up...the thing was that it caused me to think deeply early this morning. I could not sleep. I kept tossing and turning.
I remembered the sweet senior manager at my work place who died after a fibroid operation...
My uncle, who had a crazy attack of stroke and was gone in a jiffy... My beautiful cousin Lisa, who lived in ATL, dived into a swimming pool and hit her head on the tiles...and poof! that was it. As her blood seeped away, her life went with it.
My other cousin, gentle and meek, on her way back home from school...died in a car crash. Eye witnesses said that the driver did a crazy over taking and saw an on coming vehicle..in order to avoid a head on collision, he tried to save himself by turning the right side of the vehicle to face the oncoming vehicle. The on coming vehicle ...a mini lorry rammed directly into the front passenger seat and my dear cousin died. Every other person survived. The driver escaped unharmed.
There are a lot...friends, relations of friends..some deaths were expected, others were not..but in all, people lost loved ones that they will never see again.
For my cousin that died in a car crash, she kept complaining that I never called her..I kept promising and re promising ( is there a word like that?), cos I felt I was so busy with work; and finally I didn't fulfill that promise. I wonder what kind of thoughts she had for me before she went away...like ..this my cousin is insensitive and uncaring.
I learnt that I should under promise and over deliver...
I also learnt that I should more attention to the people around me..you don't know if the last time you saw them will be the last time you will ever see them...

I was going to see someone off at the airport...I had booked the person in, at a hotel close to the Old domestic airport..Skyline hotel..so the person's flight was for 10 am to Heathrow. I left my apartment like 6.10am and I was moving steadily oooo..I think I was doing like 80.. just before Obanikoro, .from nowhere, this Mercedes truck jumps into my lane....If you know Ikorodu road very well...you know that means the lorry jumped the road divider/ dual carriage divider and came into my lane..I had taken my eyes off the road for a nano second, next thing I knew, it was in front of me. I swerved to the left...Because I had a heavy car...a Camry 09, the steering jumped out of my hands. I watched in fear as the lorry driver wrestled with his steering and missed me by a hair's breathe. As he passed me, I tried to control the car..but not until it hit the curb and the front right tyre went flat with a loud bang. I guess that helped bring the car to a stop. I was shaken. I looked back. The lorry had ran into a bus stop shade. The people there made away before it got to them.
I jejely changed my tyre, and a few people came over to express their concern... By the time I got to the hotel, the person had taken a cab to the international wing of the airport...
Looking back...it struck me with a heavy chord of fear that if not for God, a different story would have been told..

On the same note, I saw this somewhere and it summarizes what we see in Lagos everyday...



25 RULES OF ENGAGEMENT, Lagos Driving 101


1. When in doubt, accelerate!
2. Be prepared to ram anything stoping you wearing uniform in Lagos (police, traffic warden,FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, lastma, lamata, laswa, even lawma sef)
3. If you get caught by any chance, DO NOT allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in DO NOT drive from that spot (vere off traffic & settle 5hun), and if they don’t agree, form calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to ANY sort of office except you wanna pay X10
4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date)
5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. NEVER yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.
6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque
7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have NO brakes
8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25yrs.
9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!
11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).
12. There is no such thing as “one-way”in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.
13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend ur whole saturday @ the panel beater’s place.
14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first)
15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.
16. When asking for directions, always ask at least 3 people. Lagosians ALWAYS claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.
17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.
18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.
19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.
20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bona fide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.
21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.
22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.
23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
24. In Las Gidi every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.
25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tire!!!
HORNING IN LAGOS
- ‘Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous manoeuvre.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.
- ‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.
- ‘Horn’ when turning into a road.
- ‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.
- ‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.
- ‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.
- ‘Horn’ when you’re happy.
- ‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.
Good luck, as you expeditiously navigate through Lagos and hustle and bustle!